No Turn Back

Hello people. I can finally breathe after days of
struggling and hard-working. Every single sleep-
less night and battle against deadlines, i can now
at least take a few hours and so to relax. Hmm..

I know we have rights to make choices and draw
things for our own, but it seems like i can't handle
rejection. and as much as i complaint a lot about
work and stuff, i still be as workaholic as i am, letting
work comes first, than to take a few moment to let
myself be free. my body is exhausting, my mental is
drain and a lot more stressful things coming my way
now i' m not so sure if i still strong enough to be able
to make all things goes right. may Allah helps me
through good and bad. and lately i don't know why i
felt so depressed. not with work, but with people around
me. like when i'm such a kind person to let them step on
and take advantages of myself. i hate to be vulnerable
i do cry sometimes thinking that why the hell on earth
did i become so fragile, letting people to used myself
and at the end of the day i got nothing for killing myself
helping those selfish people. and i don't know why i become
so nice and so considerable, it end up eating myself and
toilet is probably the best place for me to let it all out the
crying and the mournful thoughts. i hate myself for being
so sympathies over other people when they don't even
thank me for that, and never return back the favor :'(

now, with work and study i know my life can be as hectic
as it can be, i know there's gonna be more struggle than
what i had to face now, i know there's gonna be more
drama than what already is, i just hope i can make it for
just another two years. two more years and hopefully i
can get my ass where i so deserved to be.

now, i can start counting the day..